


The Closet

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Series: 1-800-did-I-ask [73]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Multi, Texting, Trapped In A Closet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-08-20 04:26:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8236031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: little lion: okay,,,,,little lion: so don't ask why or how bc I'm not 100% sure myself??little lion: but I am locked in a closet with tjeffs and I can't get out





	

**little lion** : okay,,,,,  
  
**little lion** : so don't ask why or how bc I'm not 100% sure myself??  
  
**little lion** : but I am locked in a closet with tjeffs and I can't get out  
  
**laf** : okay so I know you just said not to ask how but like  
  
**little lion** : ,,,,,,,,,  
  
**little lion** : I am not friends with him  
  
**little lion** : but sometimes we meet in this closet, sit on the floor, and either yell at each other or look at houses for him and james  
  
**laf** : do you want to fuck jefferson  
  
**little lion** : nO  
  
**laf** : just checking bc that sounds like a very tense thing  
  
**laf** : and tension leads to Other Things  
  
**little lion** : I'm never going to want to fuck jefferson  
  
**little lion** : wait is that something you actually think could happen??  
  
**laf** : if there are any two people in this office that are most likely to start hate fucking each other  
  
**little lion** : okay but consider:  
  
**little lion** : I'm not??? going to cheat on you??? ever???  
  
**laf** : right right  
  
**laf** : I love you  
  
**little lion** : I love you too  
  
**little lion** : ALSO ARE YOU COMING TO GET US OR NOT  
  
**laf** : oh I'm in a meeting  
  
**laf** : john is also here but he's across the room  
  
**little lion** : oh my god n o  
  
**johnn** : james is also also here  
  
**little lion** : N O  
  
**laf** : soRRY LOVE  
  
**little lion** : HE KEEPS SCOFFING AT MY PHONE SCREEN IM GONNA KILL HIM  
  
**little lion** : ""I'd like to see you try"" B I T C H   
  
**laf** : HA  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : ""move your leg, hamilton"" ""that's a broom"" ""brooms are made of wood"" ""have you ever seen a broom in this century??"" *dead ass silence*  
  
**laf** : n o  
  
**laf** : also this meeting is so long I don't want it  
  
**johnn** : give me a number  
  
**more like HUNKules** : 40  
  
**johnn** : what do you want to do when you retire  
  
**more like HUNKules** : sleep  
  
**little lion** : sleep  
  
**laf** : sleep  
  
**johnn** : guys  
  
**more like HUNKules** : well I mean,,,I never really thought about it  
  
**johnn** : it is a long time away  
  
**laf** : idk like I can't even imagine getting that old  
  
**laf** : oh my god what will my hair look like  
  
**laf** : WHAT WILL I LOOK LIKE  
  
**little lion** : we'll love you no matter what you look like  
  
**laf** : MY HAIR THO  
  
**little lion** : you're gonna age perfectly and be graceful as shit and you know that  
  
**little lion** : meanwhile people are going to ask me what the fuckign 1800's were like when I'm 30  
  
**little lion** : JEFFERSON IS LAUGHING AT ME AND JSUT ASKED MY OPINION ON THE LOUISIANA PURCHASE CONSIDERING IM ONE OF THE FEW STILL ALIVE THAT HAVE SEEN IT I FUCKIFN  
  
**little lion** : IM 26 RIGHT  
  
**johnn** : as far as we know??  
  
**more like HUNKules** : the louisiana purchase was stupid why would you expand this trash country  
  
**more like HUNKules** : nobody even likes wyoming  
  
**little lion** : the entire population of wyoming is gonna find you and Know what you've Done  
  
**more like HUNKules** : oh wow how am I ever gonna fight off four people  
  
**little lion** : FUCKIGNODB;KDSKNVZ;LKFSNN  
  
**johnn** : I think we'd be cute as old people  
  
**johnn** : sweaters are so much more important when you're old and we have so many  
  
**more like HUNKules** : WE MIGHT BE GRANDPARENTS BY THAT POINT  
  
**laf** : OH MY GOD WAI T  
  
**johnn** : OH MY GOD  
  
**little lion** : IM GOING TO CHOKE JEFFERSON IF HE SCOFFS ONE MORE TIME  
  
**little lion** : BUT OMG  
  
**little lion** : IM SO EXCITED TO LIVE MY LIFE WITH YOU FUCK  
  
**laf** : when we're old do you think I'm gonna be able to walk in heels  
  
**johnn** : you're very concerned with your looks and whether or not you'll be able to keep them  
  
**laf** : it is a fear of mine  
  
**johnn** : you're gonna be beautiful no matter what and we're always gonna see you as beautiful bc we love you no matter what you look like  
  
**more like HUNKules** : rt  
  
**little lion** : rt  
  
**laf** : omg  
  
**laf** : guys  
  
**laf** : I love you so much  
  
**johnn** : we love you too!!  
  
**laf** : also I feel like we'd plan to do a bunch of stuff after we retire and then just never do it bc we were too content just cuddling and drinking hot chocolate  
  
**johnn** : true  
  
**more like HUNKules** : HOW MANY CHRISTMAS SWEATERS AM I GONNA HAVE TO KNIT  
  
**more like HUNKules** : DID I UNINTENTIONALLY SIGN UP TO BE MOLLY WEASLEY  
  
**little lion** : omg  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I CANT BE MOLLY WEASLEY  
  
**more like HUNKules** : IM NOT COOL ENOUGH TO BE MOLLY WEASLEY  
  
**little lion** : I disagree but I w/e  
  
**laf** : hercules is gonna be such a cute old person  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I'm totally gonna need glasses by then  
  
**little lion** : we can be blurry together!!  
  
**laf** : just imagine hercules sittin in a chair and knittin his little heart out  
  
**laf** : and then I have a heart attack bc I lov him sm and it haven't ever stopped  
  
**laf** : rip me  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I'm totally gonna be a knitting husband  
  
**more like HUNKules** : nvm I'm already a knitting husband  
  
**little lion** : but like you'll be older then  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I guess but you'll all be older too so I guess I won't realize it that much  
  
**laf** : there's a lunch after this meeting???  
  
**little lion** : and here we see alexander hamilton, crying bc his spouse just sent a message indicating that it would take longer for them to save him and also bc jefferson just accidentally elbowed him in the side of the head  
  
**laf** : omg  
  
**johnn** : it's a mandatory lunch love we can't miss it  
  
**little lion** : bring me food back if you can  
  
**johnn** : okay  
  
**little lion** : god bless  
  
**johnn** : we'll get something for you on the way back if we can't  
  
**little lion** : god bless america I love you  
  
**johnn** : we love you too  
  
\---  
  
**johnn** : lmao nobody here likes us bc we were texting during that whole meeting  
  
**laf** : they keep indirecting us  
  
**johnn** : we're sitting across the table from each other and the seats next to us are empty bc they refuse to sit next to us  
  
**laf** : I think they think that we're too awkward to talk to each other  
  
**johnn** : hA we're married motherfuckers we're just gossiping abt you to our other husbands so fuck y'all  
  
**laf** : I  
  
**laf** : if you would have said that out loud I would have had my heart attack 40 years early  
  
**johnn** : 67??  
  
**laf** : rough guesstimate  
  
**johnn** : ah  
  
**laf** : we should make out  
  
**johnn** : washington will kill us  
  
**laf** : fine but at least talk to me out loud to prove them all wrong  
  
**johnn** : okay  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : having a deep convo with jefferson rn  
  
**little lion** : he's telling me abt him and james and it's kind of gross but I'm dealing with it  
  
**johnn** : imagine how gross he finds us tho  
  
**little lion** : that's how I'm dealing with it  
  
**johnn** : ah  
  
**little lion** : he's talking abt james' hair and he's crying like??? I know the feel but Watching happen to someone outside of my own relationship is Wild  
  
**little lion** : oh things are getting sad wait  
  
**johnn:** oh god  
  
\---  
  
**more like HUNKules** : SO I LEAVE MY PHONE ALONE FOR ONE MINUTE  
  
**more like HUNKules** : AND I COME BACK AND I HAVE A MISSED CALL AND THEY LEFT A VOICEMAIL  
  
**more like HUNKules** : ""HELLO MR. MULLIGAN IM NOT SURE IF YOU REMEMBER ME BUT TWO MONTHS AGO I HAD YOU SEW A PANTSUIT FOR ME AND NOW IM WONDERING IF YOU MAKE HALLOWEEN COSTUMES?? MY SON WANTS TO GO AS SHREK BUT REFUSES TO BUY HIS COSTUME. HE INSISTS ON HAVING IT MADE BY SOMEONE AND I WAS WONDERING IF YOUD BE UP FOR IT??""  
  
**more like HUNKules** : AND THEN QUIETLY IN THE BACKGROUND  
  
**more like HUNKules** : ""why couldn't he be like his sister and just go as a bushel of apples? is this thing still recording?""  
  
**more like HUNKules** : A BUSHEL  
  
**more like HUNKules** : OF APPLES  
  
**more like HUNKules** : A TEXT MESSAGE ASKING ME TO MAKE JESTER COSTUMES FROM AN EDGAR ALLEN POE STORY LIKE DO I JUST HAVE TO CLOSE MY STUDIO FOR THE MONTH OF OCTOBER  
  
**laf** : OH MY GOD  
  
**johnn** : JE SUS  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I HATE MY LIFE  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : jefferson is so sad  
  
**little lion** : like he's an asshole  
  
**little lion** : but like a sad asshole  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I  
  
**little lion** : I'm not gonna say what he told me but it has stuff to do with his family and how great james is I guess  
  
**laf** : jmads is totally here I just don't know where he is  
  
**little lion** : he's standing outside the restaurant talking to jeffs  
  
**little lion** : I'm reading the text messages  
  
**little lion** : this is so upsetting  
  
**little lion** : he apologized for five minutes for indirectly calling me a whore and while I want to forgive him bc he's sad should I  
  
 **laf** : I wouldn't  
  
**laf** : but of course you're nicer than me  
  
**little lion** : I'm the angriest person alive  
  
**laf** : alex I love you but like  
  
**laf** : when are you ever angry  
  
**little lion** : I would be angry more often if I didn't have you all to mellow me tf out  
  
**little lion** : being around you is very calming  
  
**laf** : yeah I feel that  
  
**laf** : everyone here just exchanged email adresses and intentionally excluded us"  
  
**laf** : I'm fucking thriving I love being hated by businesspeople  
  
**johnn** : I  
  
**little lion** : I'm having a heart to heart with jefferson and idk what to tell him  
  
**johnn** : oh my god  
  
**little lion** : this is so sad please come back to work soon  
  
**johnn** : we'll be back in like 15 mins  
  
**little lion** : GOD BLESS  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : we just hugged  
  
**laf** : oh my god  
  
**little lion** : this has been one of the heaviest conversations of my life and I'm p sure I'm high from how many chemicals are in here  
  
**little lion** : high or radioactive or dead  
  
**laf** : I  
  
**laf** : WE SEE THE BUILDING GIVE US FIVE MINUTES  
  
**little lion** : YAY  
  
\---  
  
**laf** : OH NO WE FORGOT TO GET YOU FOOD  
  
**little lion** : ITS FINE I DONT CARE YOU SAVED ME  
  
**johnn** : WHY ARE YOU CRYING  
  
**little lion** : BC I JUST HAD THE WEIRDEST EMOTIONAL CONVO WITH TJEFFS AND YOU SAVED ME  
  
**laf** : aw  
  
**little lion** : I LOVE YOU SO MUCH  
  
**johnn** : we love you too  
  
**little lion** : YOU SMELL SO NICE AND NOT LIKE WINDEX  
  
**laf** : oh my god  
  
**little lion** : IM SOBBING  
  
\---  
  
**more like HUNKules** : AND HERE WE HAVE HERCULES MULLIGAN, TRYING NOT TO CRY AS HE MEASURES A KID FOR HIS FUCKIGN SHREK COSTUME I WANT TO DIE  
  
**laf** : OH MY GOD  
  
**more like HUNKules** : FUCK I FUCKED UP  
  
**laf** : OH GOD  
  
**more like HUNKules** : ""do you think shrek is cool??"" ""very"" ""bc some boys in my class were making fun of me because they think shrek is stupid"" ""kill them""  
  
**laf** : HERCULKSJFLKAGHKJRWO  
  
**more like HUNKules** : IT WAS JSYT THE FIRST THING I SAID IT WAS LIKE A REFLEX I JSUT????  
  
**laf** : JOHN AND ALEX ARE CURRENTLY CUDDLING ON THE FLOOR RN BUT IF THEY WERENT THEYD BE SCREAMING  
  
**more like HUNKules** : ""wait no, don't kill them. never kill anybody, don't do it, it won't look good"" ""I would never kill anyone, too much blood"" ""you are eight""  
  
**laf** : FJIFHUFKCUHLKJHFKJHGKLD  
  
**more like HUNKules** : also you're not getting in on the cuddling??  
  
**laf** : I would but alex is also like half asleep and I don't want to wake him up  
  
**laf** : also I feel like the fact that I look like jefferson would be weird for him to wake up to  
  
**little lion** : get iver eher  
  
**laf** : jesus okay  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : before I fall asleep  
  
**little lion** : one thing  
  
**jmadzzz** : oh dear god  
  
**little lion** : thomas loves you a lot and he feels like sometimes you don't love him as much so you should tell him that so you can be happy and I never have to have another heart to heart conversation with him again  
  
**jmadzzz** : I can't believe I'm doing this but  
  
**jmadzzz** : he really feels like that?? and he told you about it??  
  
**little lion** : yeah he was like crying abt it to me and abt how you deserve the world and also someone better than him idk I would talk to him abt it  
  
**jmadzzz** : I will  
  
**little lion** : also there's a house he refuses to show you and it's really nice and you should look at it but it has light cabinets  
  
**little lion** : ask him abt it  
  
**jmadzzz** : okay  
  
**jmadzzz** : oh and alexander  
  
**little lion** : what  
  
**jmadzzz** : thank you  
  
**little lion** : no problem bro  
  
**jmadzzz** : you ruined it  
  
\---  
  
**johnn** : just watched alex give jmads relationship advice  
  
**little lion** : we should start a blog for relationship advice and we'd get tons of fans and we can give out tips on how to live your life with the loves of your life and everyone who wants to be in love can be  
  
**johnn** : I'll do the blog if you do my acapella group  
  
**little lion** : nvm  
  
**johnn:** WOW  
  
\---  
  
**more like HUNKules** : I HAVE TO STUFF THIS COSTUME FUHCSSKVHA;LJGH  
  
**more like HUNKules** : IM DOING THIS TOMORROW FUCK THIS ARE YOU COMING TO GET ME SOON  
  
**laf** : yeah we're almost there  
  
**more like HUNKules** : GOD BLESS  
  
**laf** : we're here  
  
**more like HUNKules** : YAY  
  
\---  
  
**little lion** : yknow we should probably stop going to bed right when we get home  
  
**johnn** : he says, walking into our room and collapsing face first into the bed  
  
**little lion** : it doesn't give us time to do anything ever  
  
**laf** : like,,,what  
  
**little lion** : anything  
  
**laf** : you just want to have sex with us don't you  
  
**little lion** : kinda  
  
**little lion** : then I want to eat dinner bc we haven't had a Real Dinner in a while  
  
**laf** : I mean  
  
**johnn** : I'm down  
  
**more like HUNKules** : me too  
  
**laf** : me too  
  
**little lion** : god bless  
  
**little lion** : someone come here and kiss me  
  
**johnn** : ON OUR WAY  
  
\---  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : you told james what I said  
  
**little lion** : oh my god I'm so tired hold on I need to get my glasses  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : just hold your phone closer to your face  
  
**little lion** : oh right  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : you told james what I said  
  
**little lion** : not everything and not in explicit detail  
  
**little lion** : just that you love him and don't feel like he loves you back and also abt the nice house that you have to buy bc it's the only good one you've shown me  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : I  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : we have a meeting to go look at the house next Friday  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : and we also had a two hour conversation abt Things  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : so as much as I hate to say this  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : thank you alex  
  
**little lion** : you didn't hate saying things when you were hugging me tf jefferson square up  
  
**macaroni fUCK** : you ruined it

**Author's Note:**

> not sure what this is??? haven't slept a full night in four days???? haha enjoy?????


End file.
